Ever had a huge fall out with a friend?
I’m the type of person who will speak about my friends to my Mother so she is completely clued in about the people in my life. And usually, Mama likes my friends. And that makes me happy!
But after a fall out, I avoid bringing up that friend in conversation with Mom. Unfortunately, she’s pretty sharp. She notices my silence, translates the situation with accuracy, and respects my silence too. But eventually, it gets the better of her and she can’t help but ask about the friend. Then I have to tell her what went down between us.
I’m not one to be blinded by pride and not try to work things out with my friends. I know pride can be a huge weakness. So I’ve always tried not to cultivate much of it. So once I give up on a friendship, it’s because I have tried to salvage it but it just didn’t work. Friendships are just one of those things that can’t be fixed by one person: takes two type of thing.
So once Mom asks about them, I tell her. Very therapeutic. That’s my way of finally closing the chapter. And once that happens, they can forget about us being friends again – the chances are closer to zero sometimes. Should it happen that they come back and try to work it out, sometimes the response is
“Sorry, we can’t be friends anymore. I told my Mom what you did and I’m sure she doesn’t approve of you anymore.”
I believe in second chances, but not everyone deserves one. When someone shows you who they are, believe them because they will keep showing themselves to you, time and again… I guess one just needs to know how to choose their battles.