I don’t normally remember my dreams but this one has been in my mind for days
Maybe it was the sadness in your eyes,
Or how broken you looked.
But I can’t seem to forget it.
We were good together. I admit that too.
But love isn’t always enough.
We learnt that too.
Because we didn’t grow together, in the same direction, staying together meant one of us had to be pruned, give up something precious so we could stay together.
I am sorry I couldn’t yield to you.
I didn’t want to risk being unhappy with you and perhaps, end up resenting you for allowing me to give up being me for you.
In the dream, we were a few years older.
Time had passed.
I was seeing someone.
You were too.
But you told me you had no intention of marrying her because I was the only person who ever had your heart.
She tries, but she will never measure up.
She will never be me.
I wanted to speak, to tell you not to look for me in another. But that you should take her as she is.
If you did that, her love would suffice.
But I couldn’t speak.
You told me you had a plan.
Since you had failed to move on and love again,
You were going to wait until I came back.
Deep down inside, you knew I would come back.
All you had to do was give me time and wait.
If you waited long enough, I would wake up from this lie I am living and come back to love.
And if I didn’t come back, then you would stay alone and die of a broken heart.
That way, I will never forget you.
I jolted out of my sleep.
I was relieved it was just a dream.
I counted on it to fade, like all the others ones that stay until the morning.
But this one didn’t.
It was too vivid.
Three days later, I still remember it. All of it.
I find myself wondering if it was my mind playing games on me,
Because if it was, it was a sick game and it needed to stop.
And then I wonder what I would do if things did turn out this way between us.
I wished you well when we broke up and I meant every word.
You are too great a person to live and die alone.
But wouldn’t dying of a broken heart be the greatest form of revenge?
I surely would never forget that.
I would be haunted forever.