My name is Nokuphila and I’m an addict.
I don’t recall the day it all happened,
But I’ve written my whole life.
I don’t remember the moment I fell in love with love.
But I did. And I fell hard.
I stand here, in love with love.
A one-sided love.
Because I don’t need love to love me back.
After all, it’s not the sunshine and stars that I love about love.
It’s the pain.
The gaping wounds.
The ground-breaking, earth shattering,
The crushing, chest searing feeling.
That is what I love about love.
See, love has power to make.
It makes people change.
It makes people unnecessarily happy.
It makes people better.
But even the bright mighty moon has a dark side.
That very love breaks.
Love has the power to break everything it touches.
Leave destruction in its wake.
Leave lacerations that even time dares not heal.
The pain carried by life times.
Loves so tragic, they are carried down through generations,
Becoming immortalized in the minds of many.
That is what I am addicted to.
I realize this is because I am broken.
I have accepted that.
I have made peace with it.
That peace is what made it possible for me to write this honest truth about myself.
Allow me to re-introduce myself.
My name is Nokuphila and I am addicted to pain.
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Charlette White @ 2017