Undeserved

I came to say goodbye.
It’s not that I don’t like it here,
I do.
But I’m choosing me.
To love me better.
And in this case, loving me better
And choosing to take care of myself
Is equivalent to walking away from this friendship.

I feel seen but undeserved.
I can’t remain emotionally unavailable
When I see that it’s the idea of me that you like.

I met a guy.
He thinks I’m great.
You should see the light that dances in his eyes when he looks at me.
I want to busk in that light.
The light in his eyes.
Guilt free.

I used to say in my mind,
There was a dividing of time when I met you.
My life before you.
And then I met you,
And color splashed into my life.
You kissed my lips
And then that dividing of time
Became the bane of my existence.

I truly believe we could have been great together,
You and I.
But I think this is where our infinity comes to an end.
You and I.
And this is where my next infinity starts.
Where you mean less
And take up even less brain space.

It was good.
But not anymore.

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