Another Parting

You packed a bag and left.
What was supposed to be a day trip
Became eternity the moment
You boarded that plane.
The flight that sealed your fate
And my fate.
Now you come in my dreams.

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17-06-2030

You came to me last night.
You were smiling like the sun.
I felt light in your arms.
We walked in the sunlight,
My hand in yours.
It felt like hours.
Until I woke up.

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18-06-2030

You came to me last night.
It was raining.
You pulled me out of the house,
Into the rain.
We danced in it,
Like five year olds.
We got drenched and didn’t care.
Then I woke up.

---

19-06-2030

You came to me last night.
It was night time.
You climbed into bed with me
And sang me a lullaby
You caressed my cheek
And watched me fall asleep.
And then I woke up.

---

20-06-2030

I want to sleep but I dread waking up.
I don’t plan to sleep.
Maybe then I won’t have to drag my heavy heart around all day.
Sleep creeps on me,
As the light of the sun touches the horizon.
You didn’t come.
I dragged my heavy heart around all day.
I miss you more when I don’t sleep.

---

21-06-2030

The bed feels unusually big.
I still manage to fall off.
I cry and scream in my sleep,
The loss feels new again.
The wounds are open and they feel salty.
My heart stings and beats with no real rhythm.

---

22-06-2030

The days feel long.
The nights feel longer.
I hate mornings.
I hate nights.
I’m in a daze.
And when its not a daze,
It feels like I’m falling.
Without you, my gravity,
I don’t hit the ground.

---

23-06-2030

I can’t seem to breath right.
I was crying in my sleep again.
This time, you were there
But you didn’t hold me to tell me
Everything would be fine.
You just stood against the wall,
With your head down.

…

---

12-07-2030

I saw you in my dream again.
It’s been three weeks.
I thought you were gone forever.
You held a candle,
It flickered yellow and red in the dark.
For what felt like ages,
We just stood there,
Looking at each other.
It felt cold.
Distant.
Then you blew the lonely light out.

I woke up in a cold sweat.
It was 4 in the morning.
I started by packing your nightstand.

The light, the candle you held,
That was the signal I had been waiting for- subconsciously.
I was waiting for my heart to tell me I was ready.
Ready to let go.
Ready to mourn.
Ready to stop running.
Running wouldn’t bring you back.